A Story of Cong

I thought I had a luxury problem. Actually I had a fundamental problem.

I was extremely ambitious, and hardworking. I studied at the best university in China, and the most prestigious subject at the time: Computer Science – a subject I didn’t like at all. But it’s many young Chinese students’ dream to come in this university – it gave guarantee for a successful future in China. Here came the brightest from the whole country. Competition of being the best among the best was tough. In spite of lacking interest, I pushed myself through a long study with good grades, because it’s the most important goal of my life at that time: to excel in everything I did and to be the best.

But all the external achievements didn’t make me happy. Intoxication I felt after having reached every new height disappeared quickly. I didn’t understand why and thought I was spoiled. I saw no other way out than to continue. Failure in other people’s eyes was no option for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coming to Norway became start of a big turnaround. This I understood only many years later. The first years of Norway was continuation of the race I was used to earlier: Top grades in Master’s study at University of Oslo; Trainee in Statoil; Exciting job change to Telenor Mobil. But my inner turmoil grew more and more. I lost more and more interest in IT-world. My back pain got worse for every day in spite of an active life style. Doctors considered operation. I was deeply unhappy and exausted.

 

 

 

The turning point came when I asked myself the following question: Is it worth to use my whole life to meet others’ expectations at the expense of my own well-being? The answer was “no”.

I left IT Industry and got certified as NLP Master Practioner by NLP founder Richard Bandler. Enthusiastic and inspired I started my own coaching company. But after a while I started to get a nagging feeling. Something lacked. I didn’t find all the answers in NLP and western coaching methods. Which way should I proceed? Have I made wrong choices? What’s wrong with me? I lost my ground. I fumbled in the dark. Several times I was on the verge of going back to IT Industry where the marked was hot and salaries were high.  But I resisted the temptation. I wished to work with something that matched my inner motivation. I didn’t want to use all my years of profession career only as preparation for a good pension.

 

 

 

 

 

Slowly but surely I started to go back to my roots: Chinese Culture and Philosophy. Slowly and surely the pieces started to fall into place. I found more answers (still not all answers) in combining Chinese thinking with western coaching methods. I started to feel more wholeness as human being. I started to find better balance in my own life. My body gave also signals: my back pain disappeared totally – without treatment.

My journey to Norway has been exciting in more than one way: geographical, cultural and existential. I am still on the journey, still on my way. With years I’ve only become more fascinated by life and its unpredictable possibilities.

I wish to be a helping hand for others who are also on life’s journey.
I wish to be a support for others who are also on the way.